I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
