Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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