I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
