Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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