and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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