Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
