I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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