That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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