You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
