He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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