have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
