after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
