i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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