dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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