did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
