That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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