Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm really busy with my period
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