I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
