i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
