Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
