i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
