I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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