I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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