Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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