she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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