They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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