There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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