Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
