The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
