I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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