Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
