It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
