problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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