I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
