He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
