We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
