I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
