Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
