idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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