There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
