I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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