you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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