what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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