my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
