my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
