My first STD was from a foam party
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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