I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
