Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
