this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
