I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
