you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
