Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
