No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
