She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
