so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
