please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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