He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
