I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
