You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
