Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
