All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My vagina is officially offended.
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