Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
