I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
