All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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