walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
