She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I AM VODKA MAN
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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